Yesterday, my 4-year-old went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and selected a small milk carton.  She then went to the cupboard, selected a straw and proceeded to climb into her seat and pour herself a glass of milk.  I didn’t think too much of it at first, but I did stop for a moment to watch her happily drink her milk.  She looked pretty satisfied with herself and her beverage.

Today at lunchtime, the importance of self-service became more apparent.  Stella came into the kitchen with me, opened the refrigerator and started to pull food out to eat for lunch.  Overall, her selection was pretty average – yogurt, milk, some leftovers.  But, it was when she opened the fruit drawer and chose a pear,  that I realized the benefit of her being able to literally select her meal.

Not only could she actually see the foods available to her and choose something based on appearance, versus having to connect the description of a particular food with an image in her head. But she now had some control over her life.  I could see that for her it was liberating – not having to exactly depend on someone for a bite to eat (well, unless of course there was nothing in the fridge).  For all intents and purposes, if she got hungry, she could simply go to the kitchen, open the refrigerator and pull out a snack.

I am thinking it is similar to the same feeling we had when we got our drivers license at sixteen or were officially an adult. The simple knowledge that you could get in your car and drive away if you were in an uncomfortable situation, rent your own place, get a job.

And while opening the refrigerator is a small step, it is important for self-confidence and self-reliance.

It is now my job to make sure the lower shelves have a good (and healthy) selection of food!

Living in Seattle means lots of rainy days.  And while we are hopeful that the rain will stop soon, it doesn’t change the fact it is pretty dreary and wet outside.

So this weekend we created our own Spring!  We bought one of those blooming paper trees.

Now Spring is sitting on our kitchen table! A bright spot in our home.

My Grandmother (my father’s mother) is suffering from Alzheimer’s.  It is incredibly heartbreaking every time I go to visit her, but it is important that I do.  Stella goes on these visits with me.  Not because she has to, but because she wants to.

Today, Stella and I went to visit my Grandmother.  I started crying on the way there – I can’t help it, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  But when I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw Stella and I was incredibly grateful that she was with me.  It would have been so easy to turn around or to go somewhere else, but having my daughter with me gave me courage.

The visit was tough, I am not going to lie.  I cried the entire time.  Stella stood by me as I put on a brave face, tears streaming down my cheeks, trying to make conversation with my Grandmother.  At one point, Stella even fished a napkin out of my bag to wipe my tears.

It is just so hard to look at a woman who looks like my Grandmother, but does not act like her.  She doesn’t recognize me, she doesn’t know Stella, and when she talks, it doesn’t really make sense.

But she is my Grandmother and I love her.  I will always have that to hold on to.