My Grandmother (my father’s mother) is suffering from Alzheimer’s. It is incredibly heartbreaking every time I go to visit her, but it is important that I do. Stella goes on these visits with me. Not because she has to, but because she wants to.
Today, Stella and I went to visit my Grandmother. I started crying on the way there – I can’t help it, I wear my heart on my sleeve. But when I looked in my rear view mirror, I saw Stella and I was incredibly grateful that she was with me. It would have been so easy to turn around or to go somewhere else, but having my daughter with me gave me courage.
The visit was tough, I am not going to lie. I cried the entire time. Stella stood by me as I put on a brave face, tears streaming down my cheeks, trying to make conversation with my Grandmother. At one point, Stella even fished a napkin out of my bag to wipe my tears.
It is just so hard to look at a woman who looks like my Grandmother, but does not act like her. She doesn’t recognize me, she doesn’t know Stella, and when she talks, it doesn’t really make sense.
But she is my Grandmother and I love her. I will always have that to hold on to.